I’m not any kind of seamstress, but still, even so, I’d like to express my strong and unwavering support for the NRA. I believe the National Ruffle Association’s stance towards the placement of ruffles in every school in America is utterly fabulous and I have no idea what in the world everyone’s getting their feathers so ruffled up about. I have always felt ruffles add a great deal to so many outfits and I believe school principals, teachers, and students would all look so much cuter with as many ruffles as they could manage to bear.
Furthermore, think how much happier the cafeteria and janitorial staff would be if only they were adorned daily with ruffles. Ruffle -borders fastened along the perimeter of chalkboards would, no doubt, help render learning an occasion that is both festive and celebratory. Ruffles in gymnasiums would add team spirit and camaraderie among both players and fans. Why use test-scores to stand out when spectacular ruffled displays could so easily be employed instead? Ruffles along corridors in schools could remind everyone that the road to excellence is what we make it and that we should, of course, make it beautifully ruffled.
Frankly, I vote for a ruffled world. Think of flamingos and peonies. Think of Flemish paintings. Think of bed skirts, valences and pleats. Yes, NRA, let this begin at once. Wait, what? Guns? Rifles? Well, that’s just plain nuts! More guns don’t keep people from getting killed. The more guns there are, the more potential there is for harm. These people must have been ruffle-starved during childhood. I’ve heard it called flounce-deprivation. We must remind the NRA through our words and through multiple ruffled actions that it is ruffles, not rifles. Ruffles, not rifles, ruffles not rifles- again and again. We must try to be patient. Hopefully, they’ll get it eventually and tiny children will be allowed to grow up, each with his own precious new body, including two whole arms, which he has every right to keep and use and bare and bear.
Furthermore, think how much happier the cafeteria and janitorial staff would be if only they were adorned daily with ruffles. Ruffle -borders fastened along the perimeter of chalkboards would, no doubt, help render learning an occasion that is both festive and celebratory. Ruffles in gymnasiums would add team spirit and camaraderie among both players and fans. Why use test-scores to stand out when spectacular ruffled displays could so easily be employed instead? Ruffles along corridors in schools could remind everyone that the road to excellence is what we make it and that we should, of course, make it beautifully ruffled.
Frankly, I vote for a ruffled world. Think of flamingos and peonies. Think of Flemish paintings. Think of bed skirts, valences and pleats. Yes, NRA, let this begin at once. Wait, what? Guns? Rifles? Well, that’s just plain nuts! More guns don’t keep people from getting killed. The more guns there are, the more potential there is for harm. These people must have been ruffle-starved during childhood. I’ve heard it called flounce-deprivation. We must remind the NRA through our words and through multiple ruffled actions that it is ruffles, not rifles. Ruffles, not rifles, ruffles not rifles- again and again. We must try to be patient. Hopefully, they’ll get it eventually and tiny children will be allowed to grow up, each with his own precious new body, including two whole arms, which he has every right to keep and use and bare and bear.
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